Understood
by maraudersgirl47
Summary: In Purgatory Castiel understood. Dean needed release and Cas was the only one who could provide it. Now, back topside, it's no longer making sense. Dean could turn anywhere to gain what he is seeking; so why is it that he keeps turning back to him? Season 8, OneShot.


In Purgatory Castiel understood.

Dean needed release. It was only natural, and he was human after all. Dean trusted Castiel and the angel was able to provide him with what he craved in the land of abominations.

Falling together, between the trees after dark, in that place made sense. Stripped bare with nothing between them, no clothes, no walls, no pain, only pleasure; it was logical.

Now, back walking the earth once again, Dean and Sam side by side, Castiel there to watch over them as their Angel, it's no longer making sense.

Castiel is confused.

The first time it happens Dean takes Cas completely by surprise. The hunter waiting less than minutes after his younger brother leaves the two of them alone before Dean is on him.

Cas' trench coat is torn roughly from his shoulders as lips fasten firmly to his neck. He is thrown unceremoniously onto the bed and before Cas knows it, both himself and his hunter are naked between tangled sheets. Breathy moans their only verbal exchange as they reach their climax.

It's different than it was in purgatory. The feel of the sensations have grown to something more. Cas would go as far as to think that it's become _better._

Cas expects that to be the last of it. One last occasion before Dean reverts things back to the way they used to be. Cas can't differentiate what shocks him more; the fact that he is wrong, or the fact that he is so glad he is wrong.

It continues to happen. When the two of them are alone, Dean will take him. Press him up against a wall, throw him down on a motel room bed, move him to the backseat of the Impala; it doesn't seem to faze Dean the location that he strips Cas bare and fucks him.

Castiel still doesn't understand.

There are a multitude of places Dean could turn to gain release, now that they are back topside, where Dean belongs. Scouting for girls at bars, a den of iniquity, even porn; Dean most certainly doesn't require _him._

Nevertheless Dean doesn't cease his actions. And Cas is certain; this is the most confusing aspect to the mystery that is Dean Winchester he has yet to face.

But Cas is selfish. He keeps his mouth resolutely shut, and follows Dean's lead, allowing everything to continue as is. He would rather remain confused, reaping the benefits of Dean's behavior than have his questions answered and loose the feeling of Dean beneath his hands.

It is a sunny afternoon when Cas starts to consider that he will eventually have to confront Dean.

Dean has them firmly pressed against each other, standing in the middle of the latest motel room. The only item of clothing that has been shed is Cas' coat, but Dean has them held confidently together at the hips, his tongue twining messily with Cas' own, each lapping at the other as if they were starved. Cas' hands clutching desperately into Dean's short hair.

Cas was the only one who heard Sam return in the Impala, and he knows he must tell Dean, for the one thing Dean is adamant about is that Sam mustn't be aware of their actions.

Cas draws back reluctantly, causing Dean to groan at the loss of contact, "Where you goin' Cas?" Dean's voice is huskier than his usual tenor.

"Sam has returned."

Dean's hands spring back to Cas' sides trying to draw him back in, "Don't care bout that Cas, Sammy can know, I just need you."

Cas managed to keep Dean's hands off of him long enough to make them look presentable before Sam walked through the door, but it wasn't easy work with Dean's incessant clinging.

Dean's lack of concern about Sam. That's what makes Cas realize he needs to ask all those dreaded things he'd rather ignore.

The cuddling development, that was also new.

Originally, back in purgatory, Dean had ensured that once they were done their bodies separated quickly. It was a miracle if Dean would even meet Cas' gaze within the next couple of days. Not long before they left that disgrace of a territory, Dean had begun to linger, allowing their forms to remain side by side in rest.

Currently, back here, it had changed again. It had taken time, but now Dean had taken to curling his limbs around Cas whenever he pleased. Hands would twine as they drove alone in the Impala, arms wrapped around shoulders or waists when there was no more than a minute of solitude, legs and arms alike would curl around Cas protectively holding him firm against Dean's unclothed chest ensuring the angel stayed put after sex.

Cas couldn't explain why, but these actions of Dean's they filled him with a sense of pleasure. He felt content, as if he was right where he was supposed to be. Cas _liked_ it.

It was early evening, Sam had not returned from the library where he was conducting research, and Cas found himself once again pinned to a motel room bed by Dean's weight as his hunter fucked into him flawlessly.

Cas could manage little more than clutching at the backs of Dean's shoulders by this point, the pleasure coursing through him shutting down the majority of his primary functions.

The raw, guttural, moan Dean made when he climaxed was wonder to Cas' ears. It was a resonance Cas was soon becoming addicted to. The sound that Dean made for him alone, and Cas craved it.

Dean waited the extra moment it took for Cas to follow him over the edge before the hunter collapsed on top of him. Cas could feel Dean's smile against his skin, as arms maneuvered around his waist holding him close.

Cas' own grin began to fade as he realized it was now or never. Could he possibly continue this way with so many questions?

"Dean?" Cas queried gently.

"Mmmm?" Dean's mind was still too groggy with sex to manage much more of a response.

Cas took a deep breath before he continued, plunging on, "Dean, I don't understand."

"Understand what Cas?" Dean's voice was muffled with the sleep attempting to pull at his mind.

"This." Cas ran his hand smoothly down the planes of Dean's muscled back.

Dean snapped his eyes open, pushing aside his exhaustion, and raised himself so he could see Cas' face, "Cas, we've been having sex for months. Are you now telling me you're not grasping the concept?"

Cas rolled his eyes; he'd been picking up mannerisms such as that ever since he and Dean had become more inseparable. "No, Dean. I understand the process of sex. I know what we are doing, it's fairly simple. What I don't understand is why."

"Why?" Dean asked skeptically, watching Cas' face for a sign that he'd somehow developed a new sense of humor and was currently messing with Dean's wits.

Cas merely nodded. Dean pulled himself up straighter and climbed off the bed, dragging a sheet around his waist as he went.

Dean paced half way across the room before opening his mouth, "Cas -"

But Cas cut him off, unsure where his new bout of steam came from but it fuelled him to persist, "It doesn't make sense Dean! In purgatory it did. It was logical. You needed something and I was literally the only one who could provide it for you. It worked, it fit the system. Being back here I expected you to cease your actions. I was waiting for you to turn away, go back to everything you used to. But you didn't! And it doesn't make sense Dean. I don't understand it. I don't understand _you_. You don't require me for this anymore. So why?"

Dean remained still, his eyes wide, his mouth slightly agape, as he stared at Cas in shock. By God, his angel was an idiot.

"Cas, you stupid sunnofa bitch."

Cas hung his head, averting his gaze from Dean's piercing green one. Shame spread throughout him. This was it. This was going to be the moment he ruined it. He spoke about it, he opened his mouth and asked the damn question and now Dean would turn him away. Never wish to see him again.

Cas hadn't seen Dean move, but he felt the firm hand grasping his chin and pulling his face upright. Cas was met with the sight of Dean on his knees beside the bed; the hunters face was softer than he had ever seen it. His eyes were brimming with a glimmer that couldn't be faked, the soft smile lighting his features expressing so much more than simple joy.

Dean wound his fingers into the dark messy hair at the back of Cas' head, spreading his joints to make it messier, "My silly, clueless, little angel," Dean whispered.

The hunter lent forward, dragging Cas' head with him, and locked their lips together tightly. Dean pressed himself into Cas' mouth, waiting for the usual sigh of content to fall from the lips linked with his as their tongues melted together.

Cas chased his lips as Dean pulled back, causing Dean to chuckle.

Dean sighed as he traced his fingers along Cas' cheek and over the bridge of his nose. Cas scrunched his face at the feeling, but couldn't help to grin shyly down to Dean.

"I'm going to explain this to you only once Cas. I would've done it earlier but I wasn't aware that I needed to." Cas blushed faintly at his own naivety. "You and me, it ain't because of some ridiculous craving I have for sex," Dean chuckled again, "Although your amazing contribution to that isn't hurting."

Cas frowned as Dean sighed, "I need you Cas. Not because we were trapped in some version of hell, or that you're an asset, or that you're great in the sack. I need you because -" Dean screwed his face up in deliberation, "Because you're everything. And I don't know when that happened. Probably since you pulled me outta Hell. But you and me, Cas, this is right." Dean glanced away, "You're mine Cas. Don't you get that?"

Cas reached a hand forward to cradle Dean's face, turning it back towards him, "As you are mine." Cas said firmly.

Dean rolled his eyes, "Don't get sappy." Cas smiled. "But yes, Cas, as I am yours."

Cas dragged Dean's face back to meet his own, sealing their lips on one another once more. The tenderness lingering between them didn't last long, both soon becoming urgent in their actions. Cas hauled Dean back up onto the bed, Dean positioning himself so he was straddling Cas' thighs.

It hadn't been on many occasions that Dean had allowed Cas full control over their movements, but whenever he did, Cas reveled in it. Dean went smoothly onto his back as Cas flipped them around, pinning Dean's hands near his head.

Dean grinned up at his angel as he pulled back for air, "You gonna let me fuck you Cas?" Dean drawled.

"No." Cas said determinedly, "You are going to let me enter you."

Cas had said the words before, but this was the first time Dean had nodded, allowing Cas to make good of this promise.

Dean lent back with ease, spreading himself wide as he permitted his angel to slowly work him open. The slow burn he felt being quickly overrun by pleasure.

Cas took his time, penetrating his hunter with a slow finality, every slide of skin on skin bringing them closer. The feel of Dean surrounding him in a completely new, intense, manner was soon carrying Cas to his end.

Dean all but howled as Cas found that sweet spot within him, and all Cas could do was grin manically down at the writhing body beneath him.

It all continues, of course. Sam and Dean hunt, Cas watches over them, Cas and Dean fall tangled together. Dean spends time finding new ways to convey how much his angel means to him; most of which don't require the use of words.

Sam found out about them at some point, Dean wasn't exactly sure when that happened. He had his suspicions that Sammy had always known, and one day just decided to cease ignoring it.

There were times when Cas would worry. Worry if Dean would eventually grow bored of him and finally turn him away. But his anxiousness was futile; it was simple, always had been, Dean was his and he was Dean's, nothing would ever change that.

Their, whatever it was that they had, was continuing to grow and evolve and Cas didn't always make complete sense of what was happening between them, but it wasn't important.

What was important was that Castiel understood what he and Dean were to each other. At first he'd missed it, the point. Didn't see Dean's intentions and followed blindly on instinct.

But now, now was different. He'd still follow Dean wherever he led him, to the ends of the earth and most likely far beyond. But it made sense now. It was _more_ now. Because now; he understood everything.


End file.
